KIERSTEN HATHCOCK
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Let's talk mind control and antisocial personality disorder

4/14/2020

4 Comments

 
Lately, I've been noticing how much Trump's tactics remind me of what I endured during my three-year relationship with someone with antisocial personality disorder. But not only that, I'm also noticing that what I'm seeing from our President is reminiscent of details in cold cases I've worked on as a medium that involved cults and mind control.

Similar to the way TV advertisement jingles get stuck in our head, Trump is effectively using repetition with his supporters. FAKE NEWS is one such example. I hear it and see it everywhere. And this is just one of the manipulation tactics being used.

To give you a little background on how mind control works, I have to first say that ANYONE can be subject to it. Back when I first started working on cold cases with law enforcement, I was blown away by how much mind control was at play in some of the cases. All I could think was, "There's no way I could be mind controlled." I didn't understand it.

Turns out, I was very wrong.

I was heavily mind controlled during three years with a sociopathic partner. I didn't realize it was happening, but from the get go, I was conditioned to follow his lead and direction. I was love bombed to the hilt which created a sea of endorphins flooding my body. When I would push back and stand up for myself on the occasion I did something he didn't like, I would get the sharp opposite of love bombing. Anger. Silence. Or silence then anger. His behavior contradicted everything I thought I knew about him during the honeymoon period. There was no rational thinking. For an example of this, read this excerpt from my book about what happened when I didn't lock the door.

After I apologized for things he didn't like, he would love bomb me again. He would repeat over and over again the same thing: I love you then, now, and forever or TNF, for short. He constantly repeated it everywhere. Social media posts. Texts. Emails. Everywhere. I heard it so much that I believed it. It was different from your usual, "I love you," in rational, normal relationships. If he loved me that much and made sure everyone knew it, and I was upsetting him, it had to be all my fault. Always my fault. Never his.

His love bombing followed by devaluation created an addiction to the good times. I had to get back to the highs of the cycle of abuse I didn't even realize I was locked in. I became a different person—someone he was molding. By the end of it, I'd isolated myself from everyone for him even though all I could feel was a huge pit in my stomach. My intuition knew what was happening wasn't right. My addiction to him simply wanted the high.

Later, I would learn from a psych doctor that he fits the profile for antisocial personality disorder. I was confused. What?!? He loves people. He loves charming them. He's not antisocial. I wish the medical community could rename this diagnosis.

Here's what an antisocial personality disorder, otherwise known as sociopathy, looks like:
  • Disregard of what is right
  • Highly aggressive and irritable
  • Deceitfulness
  • Lack of empathy or remorse
  • Consistently irresponsible (i.e, never takes responsibility)
  • Impulsive

My ex fit the bill to a T.

What I've learned over the years about being receptive to manipulation by someone like him is that we are vulnerable in many ways. I was unknowingly vulnerable due to the sexual abuse I endured as a child by my uncle. My ex seemed to fit the description of my uncle to a T. See the subconscious pattern? My childhood wound wasn't healed so I simply unknowingly sought out something similar as an adult. It's called wounded attachment.

Did you know that our subconscious dictates how we operate? At about 80%. 20% of how we operate is led by the conscious. Can you believe it's that little? If you have wounds in your childhood that you know about or don't know about, those wounds are helping to determine how you react to situations and who you feel connected to. Let's say you never healed a wound from childhood that was caused by lack. Lack of food, or lack of care. Your subconscious most likely directs you to make sure your fridge is always stocked even though you know you will not go hungry. It makes sure you back the candidate you feel will not provide lack. Of course, this is subconscious so it's not something you analyze. It's just something that happens behind the scenes.

Scientific studies have shown that we're prewired to survive, to adapt to our environment, and to adapt to leaders that we trust will help us survive. Repeating Sleepy Joe Biden over and over again (even in online polls) reinforces to those with "lack" wounds that Joe won't get it done. Sleepy people don't get much done, right?

The point of all of this is that we can all be mind controlled. And many who excel at this type of manipulation are sociopaths and/or malignant narcissists. All they have to do is identify a wound, and groom/condition us. Whether it's a collective wound or a personal one, we can be controlled much easier than we all think.


4 Comments
Margaret Conley
4/15/2020 07:15:49 pm

Your work is insightful and absolutely relevant. I'm stunned at how you captured the "love bomb" behavior as a means of control by a narcissist--and the similarities to the thing in the WH. Elegant. Thank you.

Reply
Kiers
4/15/2020 08:23:26 pm

Margo, it's go good to see your name pop up! Thank you for your kind words. It's been hard for me to ignore lately so I thought I'd share it here. Love bombing....the sociopath's weapon of choice to condition and control. Hugs to you!! Stay safe and healthy <3

Reply
holly troy link
8/26/2020 09:19:30 am

Kiersten,

This is spot on.

I have been thinking Trump is even in power because we are a nation of people who have unresolved trauma. It's a theory. Whenever I hear Trump speak, I think of my step-father.

And oh! The description of your abuser fits my ex-husband almost exactly. And, on a systemic level - the abuse from the institution where I worked for 11 years. It seemed the place ran on fear and false promises.

Thanks for writing about your experience. It helps me release some of the shame I feel over being "duped" by my ex - and how I basically had to start over and leave town with a destroyed music career, no money, and very little connections.

Powerful work, Kiersten! It's important to be aware of manipulation. When it was happening to me, I was aware of it, but I was already caught in a cycle of shame, too, that took away my will to get out. I had to see it from many different angles and perspectives before I could take action - which is one of the reasons why speaking up is so important!

You are helping people!

Thanks for your insight and sharing.

Holly

Reply
Kiers
8/26/2020 09:39:31 am

Holly, thank you for sharing your experiences. And isn't it interesting how many of these folks resemble each other!?!? Like they get a handbook from birth.

And spot on about the institution where you worked. Fear and false promises is the culture. I was just talking to a few folks about how much PTSD people have when they leave that place.

Thank you for speaking up and sharing your story with me. Let's have coffee soon! I'd love to catch up. xoxo

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  • Home
  • About
    • My Story
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  • Books
    • Little Voices: A Memoir
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Contact