 When I entered the professional workforce in 1995 as a perky 21-year-old in a purple polyester suit, I was naïve. I thought our mothers, led by activists like Gloria Steinem and Ruth Bader Ginsburg, paved the way for women to be treated as equals. I mistakenly thought that, from there on out, things would always be better than they were before, like when women weren't allowed to have their own credit cards until 1974.
Now, at the ripe age of 51, I’m grieving the fact that our daughters don’t have the luxury of thinking that women earned the right to be seen as equals in the 1970s. They’ve seen a backslide like no other time in history with regard to women’s rights. But if I’m being honest, quiet misogyny was always there. And, according to recent stats, it’s getting worse. In 2023, gender discrimination and defamation lawsuits related to misogyny in the workplace continued to be a significant issue across the United States. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) saw an increase in filings related to gender-based discrimination, with sex discrimination accounting for approximately 30.6% of all workplace discrimination cases in the U.S. This represents a considerable portion of the 73,485 new discrimination charges received by the EEOC in FY 2022, marking a 20% rise from the previous year (Wenzel Fenton Cabassa, P.A.). When I look back at my time in TV network ad sales, furniture design, and now nonprofit work, many instances of misogyny stand out. As a woman who dared to build a furniture company out of her garage in the early aughts, I heard things like, "You can't do that” and "No, you're joking...you’re a carpenter?!" Then there were the men running multi-million-dollar furniture companies saying things like, "I've got my own Barbie with power tools," when referring to a spokesperson and licensing deal I inked in 2014. Fast forward to 2018: "Calm down, calm down," the fifty-year old professor said when I offered to help him promote his project. The same man started (and continues to spread) defamatory, discriminatory nonsense after I stood up to him a year later. My refusal to allow him to take advantage of our team slapped a target on my back. At that point, in 2019, he simply whispered false accusations in the ears of other privileged executives around town. If you’ve seen Game of Thrones, then you know the “Little Finger” type. That’s him to a T. Cut to 2021: "Can you handle her?" was the question one man asked my supervisor when he found out I reported to her. Today, this same man continues to smear my name, discredit my work, and overstep like it's his job to do so. Mind you, this only happened after I received a promotion in title only. He assumed I received additional compensation along with the title. Due to budget restrictions at the time, a monetary bump wasn’t possible, and I was more than okay with that. My guess is that he threw a fit because he’d hoped to slide over from an advisory position to a paid position and he saw my promotion as a threat to his plan. Finally, in late 2023, when asking a team member to refrain from changing an important detail on our website, he defiantly ignored me. He didn’t simply make an error; he disregarded two female colleagues’ directives and (wrongly) did whatever he thought was best. Why do they do this? • Because they can. • Because the system is set up this way. • Because misogyny and discriminatory behavior is commonplace and allowed, even in 2024. Especially in 2024, come to think of it. I've learned that when you stand up for yourself, you become enemy number one. So, what am I going to do? I’m going to stand even taller and speak louder. It’s clear, based sheerly on the rising number of cases that have gone to court in 2023, that women are experiencing discrimination at escalating rates. And more women are demanding justice. Breaking the silence on misogyny is more important than ever. We can continue to ignore the noise and play nice or we can stand up in big ways—for ourselves, our fellow female colleagues, and generations to come. Do you have a similar story? I’d love to hear it.
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The Story of NILJ In 2014, I was finally starting to feel more confident in my intuitive abilities. It had been a couple years since I suddenly started hearing and seeing spirits of those on the other side. My awakening was NOT something I planned, nor was it something I studied. In a nutshell, I didn’t go looking for them—they simply found me. After going public about my evolution from skeptic to believer (due to my late in life mediumship experiences), a colleague from my days at A&E TV Network days reached out to me. She’d heard about my heightened sixth sense and asked if I would consider helping find her best friend’s husband. He’d gone missing in New York. She also mentioned that a retired NYPD detective had volunteered to help, too. I agreed to do what I could from my home in Flagstaff, AZ, but I wasn’t the least bit sure I’d be helpful. Most of my prior mediumship experiences had been with children who had passed on. Many of whom were victims of sexual predators (like me). Shockingly, I almost immediately heard from the man in spirit. It was crushing to know that he was no longer in his body, but I felt hopeful that I’d be able to help shed light on why he went missing. Shortly after channeling details about the missing man, Detective Pucci and I spoke on the phone. Much to my surprise, Mark said he was open to intuitive information, just like he’d be open to other types of tips and eye-witness accounts shared during an investigation. He also said that he had worked with other mediums in the past. A few weeks later, we met in person at a diner in New York City. I was there on business for Mod Mom Furniture, so it worked out perfectly. As we opened our respective note-filled folders, we were stunned to see just how much matched, even though Mark hadn’t disclosed details with me. Back in Flagstaff—while I stood in the kitchen washing dishes—I received unexpected, channeled messages for Mark. They were beyond urgent—his life was at stake. I called him immediately, having no idea that he was on his way a location where he suspected the missing man’s remains might be. The location matched what I was being shown psychically as well. I was being shown symbols, flashes of images, and I heard that if he didn’t protect himself, he would be in grave danger. In a recent interview with Emmy award-winning journalist Bonnie Stevens, Mark said this about that fateful day: “Mark says her psychic ability “literally” saved his life when she warned him that he was putting himself in “mortal danger” with individuals connected to an investigation. Clues she was able to provide him helped him recognize the scene where danger lurked and the individual who had intended to harm him. “Without any doubt, if Kiersten hadn’t advised me of the message she had received, and the specific details it contained, I believe the outcome of that afternoon could have been very different.” Det. Pucci says Hathcock’s involvement often leads to a unique take on an ongoing investigation. “What Kiersten’s abilities bring to the table is oftentimes a focused message, which may cause a re-examination or re-evaluation of current evidence, a fresh perspective or nuance you may have overlooked before or may also initiate the creation of a new direction entirely to explore.” After the case of the missing man in New York wrapped up, I channeled that Mark and I would be working together under a much bigger umbrella down the road, but neither of us knew how or when. We continued to work on cases together but it wasn’t until 2021 when Mark called me up out of the blue one day to ask me a question: “It’s time, isn’t it?” I was covered in chills from head to toe, intuitively knowing what he meant. He said he was ready to start a nonprofit organization and I was the first person he called. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the time was right. Funny enough, one of the kids in spirit had just told me that I had more to write in my memoir. I had no idea what that meant until Mark called me. The next week, I landed a book deal. Divine timing is real, that’s for sure. We’d both been individually (and collectively) volunteering our time working cases, we could only do so much. We both work full-time jobs —Mark as a private detective and me as Chief Marketing Officer at Moonshot, author, and entrepreneurship mentor—so our time is limited. We knew that if we were able to start a nonprofit that funded the cases for families, we could help more families by expanding our network of detectives and resources. Today, I’m still currently working full-time while volunteering with NILJ as co-founder, head of marketing and board secretary, and whenever possible, I volunteer as a medium on cases. Sometimes I look at case details to see what I can pick up on intuitively, but most of the time those on the other side simply come to me. Case in point: I was recently visited by a teenager who was killed decades ago. She came to me because we (via NILJ) had been working on other cases involving the same killer; however, no one had connected her death to him yet. She told me that she, too, was a victim—that she’d been raped and murdered when she was just fifteen years old. The ball is rolling on her case and we’re hopeful we’ll be able to prove that she was indeed one of his victims. To know that she has a voice long after her death means so much to all of us at NILJ. I’m forever grateful to those on the other side who trust me with their stories, and I’m incredibly grateful that 10 years ago, Mark Pucci took a chance on a highly intuitive furniture company founder. :) So, there you have it. The unexpected meeting of a retired cop and a reluctant medium saved us both in different ways. Our small team is busy building the organization while working cases across the country. Here’s a look at a few case recent summaries: https://nilj.org/case-summaries. While I detailed a bit of this story in my memoir Little Voices, this is the first time I’ve shared the journey in full. Of course, there are details I can’t make public; but I can say this: there are true angels on earth (like Detective Mark Pucci and Detective Bill Simon) who would rather spend their retirement helping others than sit on a beach somewhere. Fred Rogers would say they are the epitome of the helpers. “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” ― Fred Rogers To learn more about NILJ, go to nilj.org.           Recently, my husband Scott wrote a beautiful, vulnerable article about the reality of our love story. The truth about “us” before we separated and got back together. I love him for many reasons, but his ability to own the shadow parts of himself is at the top of the list in my book. While he’s talked openly before about the part he played in our marriage unraveling in 2014, he felt compelled to pen what he did because of what he sees me endure on a weekly basis. What is that, you ask? Well, in a nutshell, it’s shame. And I’m not talking about the shame I will always feel for choosing to go down the rabbit hole with Tony. I’m talking about shame that’s heaped on me by other women. I’m so used to it that in some ways, I’m becoming numb to it. I’ve come to expect it. So, it surprised me a few days ago—while I was on a Zoom call with three incredible, intuitive powerhouse women in Hollywood—I teared up hearing them say how grateful they were that I wrote Little Voices. They talked about how much it helped them in their own lives, and how much my story needs to be seen on screen. For reference, they are all younger than me ranging from late twenties to forty-something in age. I normally keep it together on film/tv development calls, but not this time. I was so overcome with gratitude that I choked up. I even told them why what they said meant so much to me. In a nutshell, I told them that more times than not when speaking with other women, one of the first things they do is shame me.
These are just a few of the things I hear on a regular basis. Of course, I expected to take some heat when I wrote Little Voices and, again, I will always regret my actions with Tony, but I knew my story would help others who were going through something similar. I wish a story like mine had been out in the world when I was going through what I did 10 years ago. (There are plenty of them...I know this because they write to me privately.) I knew my memoir would help others, especially childhood sexual abuse survivors understand that if they haven’t healed their childhood wounds, they have about an 80 percent chance of unconsciously manifesting similar abusive in adulthood. You see, our subconscious (where our wounds are housed) drives 80 percent of our behavior. Psychologists call it “wounded attachment,” a term I knew nothing about until I was a shell of myself in 2017 having lived through three years of abuse at the hands of a charming sociopathic sexual predator. (Full circle, eh?) Still, while the whole concept of wounded attachment is incredibly important, it’s not why I’m writing this piece today. Today, I want to talk about how much shame women heap on other women. We all know that our reaction to things/topics/people primarily stems from what we’ve experienced in our lives. In that case, if you’ve ever been on the receiving end of infidelity, you’re more likely to throw some shame shade at me. I get that. What I wasn’t prepared to realize were these things:
All of this is to say that I think we older generations need to do better. We’ve been conditioned for generations to compete against one another, and it shows. Our subconscious programming drives us to shame and villainize women more than men when it comes to infidelity. When it comes to many things, actually. (Insert America Ferrera’s epic monologue from the Barbie movie.) So, please know this: if you share vulnerable things with me, know that I’m a safe space. I will be the first to thank you for vulnerably sharing your story and I’ll lead with compassion. Our stories are not one dimensional—they are complicated and layered. Just like we are. ----- About Kiersten Hathcock Kiersten Hathcock left a marketing career with A&E and The History Channel in 2003 to spend more time with her kids and wound up building an internationally known furniture company called Mod Mom Furniuture out of her 400 square foot garage. After four years of crafting and selling over 300 kids’ furniture items, Kiersten braved ABC’s Shark Tank and won an investment deal. Kiersten's designs have been featured in TV shows, People Magazine, New York Times, LA Times, and international design books. Her award-winning furniture line has been sought after by celebrities, interior designers, and retailers around the globe for over 17 years. Today, Kiersten is an author of LITTLE VOICES, professional speaker, mentor, and the Chief Marketing Officer for Moonshot, a 23-year-old nonprofit that helps entrepreneurs across Arizona and beyond. kierstenhathcock.com 
My husband Scott published this article on Linkedin today. I had tears in my eyes reading it. I'm so grateful for his view, his vulnerability, and his humanity. -------- BY SCOTT HATHCOCK I know when my wife Kiersten Hathcock wrote her memoir Little Voices she knew she would be somewhat vilified; she knew she would have her critics. She also knew she would be helping someone. And, if she won’t say it, I will: she has helped hundreds of ‘someones’ and they have been kind enough to write to her. There are certainly thousands more whom she’s helped that don’t write to her. Those who tend to reach out thank her for her vulnerability and that they truly relate to so many parts of her story. Some readers even say her book changed their lives. Then there are those readers who simply attach themselves to the storyline of her having an affair and they shame her for it. To those critics, I want to say, “Did you even read the whole book?” This is the part I want to address because I was there and did play a major role in this part of the story. So, let me start by saying relationships are hard. Not to mention what life throws at you is hard. It’s truly amazing that any of us exist and go about our day singing a happy tune. But, the truth is in order to survive as humans we tend to compartmentalize and focus on what makes us more comfortable. We tend to see things with a right or wrong lens—keeps it simple, right? Sadly, the whole truth is not that easy to understand as it requires us to abandon our own personal experiences as a frame of reference and see it from another’s perspective. That is WAY harder to do, because it tests our version of our own reality, and I’m not even talking about ghosts. As it relates to our relationship, A LOT of life preceded our separation. In her memoir, Kiersten speaks her truth and journey, scars and all, but she’s not telling my whole story because it is her memoir. However, she did include a blog that I wrote which shed some light on a part of my journey. In that blog, I state a myriad of reasons as to why my record wasn’t exactly perfect. In just a few words, I’ll sum it up-- I was a selfish kid (period). I needed to grow up and it wasn’t until she left that I had to learn how to really take care of myself and our kids. This included paying my own bills, making sure we had enough money, making dinner, helping with homework, juggling schedules and rides to and from school activities, taking care of sick kids, taking care of myself when I was sick, communicating with my parents and the list goes on and on. While this list may seem benign to most, consider that digging in and doing the work wasn’t really a daily thought of mine unless Kiersten asked for my help. Can you say “codependent?” When I think back on those 15 or so years, I am ashamed of myself for not being present in our family’s lives. Relationships are a two-way street. Now, add to Kiersten’s plate the complexity of dealing with wounded attachment, being a childhood sexual abuse survivor, meeting a narcissistic sociopath who targeted her, and communicating with spirits of kids who desperately wanted her help, and then maybe you begin to see the whole picture, the whole truth. There is no villain. At the end of the day, our love story doesn’t really exist without all the complicated layers—without all of the truths. So, if you walk away from reading “Little Voices” and your only take is, “She’s lucky to have Scott.” I invite you to re-read the book and remove your safety lens so that you may see the whole truth. Kiersten and I are lucky to have each other, for neither’s love story is complete without the other and THAT is the truth.  I am so touched by your comments in response to my post about closing up shop at Mod Mom Furniture. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Today, I thought I’d share a little more about what’s to come and the how my intuition played an important role in my decision to move on. But before I do that, I want to share something that’s not talked about all that much in entrepreneurship circles. It’s the fact that most startup founders I know, at some point, simultaneously work a full-time gig during lean times. I was no different. Even from the start—from 2006 to 2016—I built Mod Mom while I was caring of our kiddos full-time. In 2016, after the multimillion-dollar Stanley Furniture deal imploded, I worked full-time for two years at Northern Arizona University in PR and Marketing while I continued to create new opportunities for Mod Mom. In 2018, I was hired as Entrepreneur in Residence by the board of directors at Moonshot, the nonprofit Scott leads as CEO. Together, we expanded our entrepreneurship programming in Arizona, Nevada, and the state of Washington. My job has morphed over the years, sliding into the role of VP of Marketing and now, in 2024, Chief Marketing Officer, but one thing has remained constant: I still consult with entrepreneurs of all ages and speak to audiences across the US and Canada about my startup and Shark Tank journey. It’s an honor and a privilege to pass on what I’ve learned (the good, the bad, and the ugly) about what it takes to build and sustain a line of products. It’s one thing to have an idea for a product or to BE your product (consultants, speakers, etc.); it’s another to design, test, market, produce, and distribute products. My hat is off to all who dare to do so. It’s not for the faint of heart, that’s for sure! So, that’s what I’ve been doing full-time while still pushing to attract and grow opportunities for Mod Mom. In February of this past year, my intuition said I needed to wrap up Mod Mom to open the door for new opportunities that are more in line with what I do as an intuitive medium. Being that I’m originally from the Midwest and it’s not in our collective DNA to quit anything ever, I didn’t jump to do so. Instead, I waited to see how my book and the work I do as a volunteer medium played out before I made any rash decisions. Guess what happened? My intuition got louder: “It’s time…shut down manufacturing by August.” I listened and let the manufacturer know I was severing ties in August, but I didn’t announce it publicly. Out of the blue, in July, I started hearing from the designers and vendors who were also NOT getting paid by my manufacturer. I was gobsmacked because their messages (within one week of each other) put an exclamation point— in real time—that what I was hearing was indeed spot on. I couldn’t give the manufacturer a pass anymore because times were hard, Covid, etc. Enough was enough on all fronts. The minute I made the decision to finally close Mod Mom, new doors started opening. I inked a deal with a production company in Canada who is excited to partner with a distributor for a docuseries about my life as a volunteer medium who helps families and law enforcement. The docuseries concept has been very well received by several networks/distributors. More on this to come in the next few months! Another door that opened was an opportunity to sign with a major production company in LA. Without my knowledge or urging, a senior producer/manager read my memoir Little Voices and immediately reached out to my film/tv agency asking about rights to the book to turn it into a limited drama series or feature film. I’m excited to share that the Little Voices film concept is currently being read by an incredible list of producing and studio partners (many of whom you’d know by name). This project would give me the opportunity to help shape the screenplay (as a writer and producing partner). I’m beyond excited to see where this goes because I’ve heard for many years (from the kids in spirit) that Little Voices will indeed be turned into a film/dramatic series. They’ve also encouraged me to write a few more books, which I’ll do over the next few years. I’d love to share what I’ve learned about life and life after death from the kids in spirit like Jason, Nate, Carrie, and many others. Without my Mod Mom journey, I doubt I would have had the opportunity to land a literary agent, let alone a traditional book deal and burgeoning tv and film deals. And without taking the following risks…
…I wouldn’t have the opportunities I do today. Today, my weeks involve spending time with family and friends, working full-time with a team I love at Moonshot, speaking to groups of young and not-so-young entrepreneurs, helping families whose children are highly intuitive learn to manage their gifts, working with Mark and the NILJ team to help families whose loved ones are missing or murdered, responding to messages from Little Voices readers (thanks for reaching out to me!) and speaking to book clubs, and passing spirit messages when I feel the nudge from souls on the other side. I hope that reading about my journey—both the past and present— helps you remember that every time you step outside of your comfort zone to trust your gut (no matter what others think), you’re taking another step along the path to your best life. It doesn’t mean the path will be free from hardship, that’s for sure. But taking those steps—believing in your own power and intuition— is what creates magic in your life. I think Martin Luther King Jr said it best when he said, “You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." No matter where you are in your life, I hope you’ll take the first step. Happy New Year! |
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